Samantha darling Read online

  “Maybe it was too hard for him.”

  “Maybe, but she didn’t have any friends or other family. She deserved better. More than nothing.”

  “Why don’t you hold a memorial so you can have peace?”

  “I guess because I thought my dad and I should do that together.”

  “As you know, people deal with shit differently. Some deal with things by not dealing with them at all. Sounds like you and your dad are a lot alike.”

  I exhaled, long and hard, not wanting to broach the subject.

  “Do what you need to do for you, Sam.”

  I nodded, ready to shift the conversation. “What’s it like being high?” I asked.

  He ran a hand through his hair. “I didn’t expect that question.”

  “Did you think I was going to ask how many girls you’ve slept with?”

  “I think so,” he admitted. “I’m asked that a lot.”

  “I’m pretty sure that’s the last thing I’d want to know about you.” I assumed the number was astronomical and knowing it would do me no good.

  “You really don’t want to know?” His eyes squinted in the corners.

  I shook my head. “Nope. But I do want to know what it’s like to be high.”

  “I’m not sure how to describe it.”

  “It must feel good.”

  “Not always.”

  “Why’d you start smoking weed?”

  “No good reason.”

  “Now I’m the one feeling gypped,” I complained.

  “What do you want me to say?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never thought much about drinking or drugs before. Getting good grades and staying out of trouble were my priorities in high school.” I shrugged. “I just wondered what it’s like.”

  “I don’t think you’d like being inebriated. It takes your control away. Makes you do dumb shit.”

  “Like, go to bed with an ugly girl?” I joked.

  Wes snickered. “It has happened.” After a beat, he said, “I’m sorry you didn’t get to have much of a social life in high school.”

  “Like I said, everyone knew about my mom. By extension, they all thought I was crazy, too.”

  Wes smiled at me and it was beautiful. “You really showed them, didn’t you?”

  I laughed. “I guess I did.”

  “Did you ever get to have cake on your birthday?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  The front door opened and Ellen smirked, putting a hand on her hip. “Oh, now I see why you didn’t come back in to help me put up the groceries.”

  Wes went to Ellen and hugged her. They spoke softly for a few minutes, and then hugged again before she went back into the house.

  “Did she say anything you’d like to share?” I asked.

  “No. Come to town with me. I promise not to take you anywhere freaky.”

  “Are there even any freaky places around here?”

  Wes opened the passenger door of his Range Rover for me. “Unfortunately, no.”

  The interior smelled of fresh leather and mint, which came from an air freshener stuck in one of the vents. “New car?” I asked.

  “It’s Charlotte’s. My dad is a partner in a few dealerships. After I totaled my second car, he stopped allowing me to have my own. Charlotte almost never drives, but he still gives her a new lease every year, which she lets me use. He’d probably freak if he found out.”

  “How did you total two cars?”

  “The first happened after junior prom. I was too fucked up to have been driving. Luckily, the girl I was with was smart enough to ride home with someone else, and I was the only one hurt. I broke my arm, a couple of fingers, and my nose, which required surgery, and is why I look slightly different from Charlotte now. The second time was senior year. Austin was with me. I was texting and rear ended another car.”

  “Dumbass.”

  “I know. I know. My record has been clean since then. Not even a parking ticket.”

  I’d gotten my license at sixteen, but never drove because we only had one car and Dad was always using it. I didn’t care. It wasn’t like I had anywhere to go.

  Wes drove us to the center of town and parked in front of a small bakery. Before exiting the car, he looked at me and said, “You should have had cake on your birthday.”

  My chest expanded, not knowing if I was going to laugh or cry.

  Inside of the bakery were glass cases filled with the most decadent cakes I’d ever seen. The air smelled like pure sugar. It was intoxicating.

  “What kind of cake did your mom used to make for you?”

  “Two layer chocolate with fudge icing.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll have.”

  The last cake Mom made for me was a mess. She’d stirred the icing into the batter that hadn’t been cooked completely. But she looked so proud of it that I couldn’t turn down a piece. If I’d known it would be the last cake she would make for me, I would have eaten two.

  Wes ordered the cake, but the girl behind the counter was more interested in chatting him up than doing her job. She’d all but asked him to go in the back room and do her. I was embarrassed for her because Wes was less than receptive and finally asked if we could have the cake to go. What he’d done for me was sweet, but had been overshadowed by the cake wench who wouldn’t shut her pie hole. I would have preferred to sit and talk to Wes instead of having to rush out because of her advances.

  In the car, Wes handed me the bag from the driver’s seat. “You can eat yours now if you want to.”

  I pulled a carton from the bag and groaned. The girl had written her phone number on it. “Are girls always so forward with you?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “Do you like it?”

  “Not always.”

  “Sucks being so pretty, I guess.” I shrugged and took a bite of the cake.

  “Funny. How’s it taste?”

  “It’s so good,” I moaned. “Thank you. At Boothe, they didn’t serve sweets or caffeine.”

  “What was the first thing you ate after getting out?”

  “Scrambled eggs and fruit.”

  “How adventurous,” he complained.

  “Well, the eggs were scrambled in butter, so…”

  Wes smiled and I felt the warmth of it in my gut. I forked a piece of my cake and held it out for him to try. I watched as he closed his mouth over the lump of chocolate and pulled a clean fork from his lips. “It’s better than I imagined it would be,” he said, then turned and started the car.

  We were quiet as he drove me home. I found myself watching him, discreetly cutting my eyes in his direction, hoping he wouldn’t notice. If he did, he didn’t say anything. When we stopped in front of my house, I thanked him again for the cake.

  “You’re welcome. Are you going to Austin’s tonight?”

  “I wasn’t invited.”

  “You’re always invited, Samantha darling.”

  When Wes left, I had a strong desire to follow him, but went inside and daydreamed about him instead.

  15

  C harlotte spotted me the instant I walked into Austin’s house. “You’re here.” She sounded so shocked that I wondered if I shouldn’t have come. “And you’re wearing regular clothes.” A pair of denim shorts and a plain peach t-shirt.

  “Yeah, Wes said something earlier.”

  “What were you doing with Wes earlier?”

  I didn’t care for the juvenile tone to her voice and hoped she wouldn’t make a big deal about it.

  Luckily, before Charlotte could say anything else, Austin stepped between us, facing me. “We’re starting with Never Have I Ever, so make sure you have a drink,” he instructed.

  “I don’t drink.”

  “There’s soda in the fridge.”

  My eyes rolled away from his.

  “You’re only going to be young and dumb once, Sam darling. Play the game. Have some fun.”

  Austin was an ass, and I knew he only wanted me to play, so
he could degrade me in some way, but he did have a point. What was I so afraid of? Being embarrassed, or not taking a chance to do something stupid in front of people I would likely never see again once summer ended. Would it be all that awful if I acted my age for once?

  I went to the fridge for a drink. While I was bent down studying the soda options, I felt that Wes was close to me. It was odd how I could sense when he was near.

  “Hello, Samantha darling.” The way he said my name made my guts nosedive. And then I turned around. Seeing him only made it worse. He was wearing a tan suede baseball cap, a navy polo shirt, khaki shorts, and a bright smile on his face. He looked amazing.

  “Hi.” The word left my mouth slowly and lingered in the space between us. I didn’t like that he could dull my sharp edges without any effort at all. I somehow felt closer to him after our recent conversations and wondered if he felt that way too.

  Wes and I sat down on an empty couch. He pulled a flask from his pocket and as he took a drink Austin’s voice filled the room. “Never have I ever had sex in a swimming pool!”

  “That’s a damn lie,” some girl called back.

  “That was a fun night,” Austin declared, pointing to the girl. “I don’t remember your name, but I do remember that night. All you pool sex having bastards better drink up.”

  Most of the people in the room drank. Wes included.

  “Never have I ever tried to go down… on myself,” Austin said, his eyes bugged out. Dotted laughter filtered through the room. Charlotte plopped down next to me on the couch and told me they were all lying when no one took a drink. “I imagine there’s not a guy in this room who hasn’t tried to suck his own dong. More than once.”

  “Never have I ever farted during sex,” Austin said.

  “Gross!” someone shouted. “Where are you getting these?”

  “The gross capital of the universe, my friend. The internet. Never have I ever stalked someone. I haven’t, but several of you ladies have made me afraid to walk home after dark a time or two.”

  “You mean their husbands, right?” Charlotte asked, making several people laugh.

  “Why don’t you stalk me and find out?” Austin eyed Charlotte lustfully. His stare was so intense that I felt I was intruding on them and had to look away.

  “You wish,” she replied.

  “Every night at bedtime,” he said, as if in pain, making Charlotte giggle. “Never have I ever cheated on someone.”

  Instinctively, I looked at Wes. He didn’t drink. But I guess if you don’t date, you can’t cheat.

  “Never have I ever had a threesome.”

  Again, Wes didn’t drink, which relieved me.

  “Never have I ever—ok, screw this.” Austin slipped his phone into his back pocket. “Let’s get to the game.” He pointed to me. “You in, Samantha darling?”

  “I’m in,” I said, not believing those words had come from my mouth, but Austin was right. I was only going to be young once.

  “Are you sure you want to play?” Wes asked.

  “Yes,” I said, certain that I looked scared to death.

  “You, Samantha darling,” Austin started, stealing my attention from Wes, “can engage in foreplay with anyone in this room, including yours truly. I’ll even allow a Seven Minutes in Heaven style endeavor if you tease us just a touch.”

  I’d hoped that Austin would cut me a break, but I figured he thought he had by not ordering me to get naked, perform a sex act, or kiss a girl in front of everyone.

  I nervously scanned the unfamiliar faces, their eyes focused on me, awaiting my decision. How could I choose someone to make out with that I’d never even talked to before? My heart pounded. My palms became clammy. I regretted agreeing to play this idiotic game and was about to bow out when Charlotte leaned close and said, “I’d pick Nick. He’s in the gray shirt next to Max.”

  I focused on Nick. He was attractive enough and smiling at me, so I felt he wouldn’t be grossed out by the idea of me choosing him.

  “Tick Tock, Samantha darling,” Austin chanted.

  My heart beat so hard that I thought it might pop as I shakily stood and stepped around a few people on the floor, but before I could get to Nick, someone grabbed my hand.

  “It’s the lady’s choice, Cohen,” Austin chided. “You can’t volunteer.”

  “No, you definitely cannot volunteer,” Charlotte complained.

  “I pick him,” I said quickly, relieved that I wouldn’t have to kiss someone I hadn’t met before. Just as fast, Wes began pulling me toward the stairs.

  “Hold on, Sam darling.” Austin said. “We get a taste first, remember?”

  Wes turned and lightly pressed his mouth to mine. He had the most amazing lips. Full and soft. The color of a ripe cherry, they tasted like cinnamon, which I attributed to whatever he’d been drinking from his flask. And then, before I’d truly gotten to feel what it was like to be kissed by him, it was over.

  “All right, all right. Even though you’re bending the rules, and that was a terrible tease, let the Seven Minutes in Heaven begin,” Austin said, and blindly waved us away.

  Wes took me upstairs to the bathroom he’d walked me to the last time I was at Austin’s and closed the door. He hoisted himself onto the vanity top and took his phone from his pocket. “If we stay here about fifteen minutes, Austin should be satisfied.”

  When what he’d said soaked in, I was completely mortified.

  “Where are you going?” he asked when I reached out and unlocked the door.

  “Home.”

  “Why?”

  “Because quitting the game would be less embarrassing than pretending to play.”

  “I saw who you were going for, Sam. You were about to make a mistake. I kept it from happening.”

  “Would you have done that for anyone else here?” I asked, annoyed.

  He didn’t answer.

  “I thought you weren’t going to treat me differently.” My cheeks were on fire, hot with anger. “I never should have told you about my mother.”

  Wes slid off of the vanity top. “I’m not treating you differently because of your mother. I’m just not treating you like everyone else, which has nothing to do with her.”

  “I agreed to play tonight because I wanted to act my age. Do something I typically wouldn’t. So, now, instead of playing Seven Minutes in Heaven, I’m hiding in a bathroom with a guy who feels sorry for me.”

  “First,” Wes pointed a finger at me, “Nick is gross, and I’m pretty sure he has crabs. Second, I don’t feel sorry for you, I’m trying to be a good friend. Third, I’m being respectful of you.”

  “First, ew. Second, a good friend would have let me make my own decision. Third, I don’t feel respected, I feel rejected.”

  “What do you want me to do, Sam? Put my dick in your mouth, or pull down your shorts and have a quickie from behind? Because that’s what I’d do if I was in here with anyone other than you.”

  The room felt like it was shrinking and if I didn’t get out of there I would be crushed alive. I swung the door open and Wes shut it back.

  “Dammit. I’m sorry, okay? Although I still think you needed it, I shouldn’t have tried to save you. Or said what I said.”

  “I’m not as delicate as everyone likes to think I am. I don’t need a babysitter.”

  “I’m not trying to babysit you. If you want to fuck Nick and get crabs, go ahead.”

  My mouth fell open. “Holy shit, Wes. I wasn’t going to do that. I was only going to kiss him.”

  “Kids around here stopped kissing during Seven Minutes in Heaven in middle school. It’s why I didn’t let you go with him.”

  I knew I’d missed a lot during high school, but had no idea I was light years behind everyone else my age.

  “Why’d you want to kiss Nick anyway?”

  “It’s not that I wanted to. I had to pick someone. Charlotte suggested him.”

  “My sister has shit taste in boys.”

  I cut my eyes awa
y from his.

  After a short silence, Wes said, “I know you’re hot for that guy Charlie.”

  “I’m not hot for Charlie,” I scoffed.

  “Bullshit, Sam. You like him, and he likes you.”

  “I don’t know what Charlie told you, but you shouldn’t believe it. He’s a pathological liar.”

  Wes smiled. “Yep, you’re definitely hot for Charlie. Since I ruined your plan to practice kissing with Nick, I could give you a few pointers to make up for it.”

  “I’ve kissed a boy before. I don’t need pointers.”

  “Show me.”

  My cheeks reddened further. “You don’t believe me?”

  “No, I don’t.”

  I had kissed a boy, but I was twelve. It was because of a dare and there was no tongue, so technically I could use a tip or two.

  “If you want help, the offer stands.”

  Looking into his eyes, I was nervous, but wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity.

  Wes took a drink from his flask, then looked seriously at me. “A guy should let you take the lead the first time you kiss. It’s what I do. That way I know what the girl likes. If Charlie takes the lead and you don’t like how it’s going, there are ways of coaxing him into doing what you want.”

  “How am I supposed to do that?”

  “It’d be easier for me to show you, and I can, but first, I have a disclaimer.”

  “Disclaimer?” I wanted to laugh.

  “Yeah, something I tell every girl I’m physical with.” Wes turned off the overhead lights. A lamp on a makeup vanity to the left of us cast a small glow in the room. His olive green eyes concentrated on mine and suddenly nothing was funny anymore. “I don’t date,” he said softly, his cinnamon whiskey breath gently washing over my face. “I’m not dependable. I can’t be faithful.” He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and whispered, “I’m not ever going to be your boyfriend.”

  A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. “I bet every girl you’ve said that to, has taken it as a challenge.”

  “I don’t mean for it to be taken as a challenge. I’m just trying to be up front with them, so they’re not waiting for something that’s never going to happen.”