Blind Squirrels Read online

  Josh and I enjoyed our moments alone. I smoked a joint with him, but I still didn’t like it. We kissed, and Josh laid my head in his lap and stroked my hair. “Lay Down Sally” came on the radio, and he sang it to me – changing the words to “lay down Kat.” We talked until the sun had disappeared completely.

  At last, Ray and Olivia returned. I could tell that Olivia was still unhappy, but she wasn’t complaining. After they got back in the car, Josh looked at me and shrugged. Ray said, “Let’s go to Pensacola Beach, man.”

  It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to do, but I hoped it might ease the tension that was mounting in the back. Ray was drinking again, and, after a minute, he lit up another joint. I knew I had to get Olivia away from Ray, but I wasn’t sure how. Maybe I would think of a solution while we drove to the other beach.

  Along the way, I began to hear strange noises from the backseat. I could see Olivia sitting behind Josh, but Ray was completely out of sight. Josh looked back at Ray. “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “Sure, I’m fine, man,” Ray answered.

  Just then, I heard a noise I recognized: Ray was vomiting. Then I heard Olivia’s voice, and she was screaming. “Oh, shit! He just threw-up all over me! Kat, you need to find a gas station and stop! Now!”

  There were no gas stations in sight, but I turned down a street that led to one. It took about five minutes, but I found a place to stop. I pulled up beside the restroom and jumped out. Josh hopped out, and Olivia practically knocked him down getting out of the backseat. Her beautiful white shirt wasn’t beautiful or white anymore. I looked at her and asked, “Is there any on my seat?”

  “Kat!” she yelled. “Look at me. Do you really think I care about your seat? Come help me get this puke off me.”

  I looked at Josh. “I’ll take care of your car. Go help Olivia,” he said.

  I thanked him and followed Olivia into the lady’s room. She took off her blouse and began washing it in the sink. I just stood there staring at her. “I guess you want to go home,” I said.

  “No, I wouldn’t want to ruin your evening. Are you crazy? Of course, I want to go home. I can’t wait to get away from that...that...I really don’t know how to describe him. He just ruined my new blouse and my evening. Do you really imagine that I want to spend more time with him?” Olivia was angry. Very angry.

  “I was hoping...” I said.

  “Hoping? Hoping what?” Olivia demanded.

  “I was hoping you wouldn’t want to go home. He didn’t throw up on you on purpose. Josh didn’t do anything. He hasn’t even smoked pot in front of you because he knows you don’t like that. Please, Olivia. Please say you’ll go with us to the beach. After tonight, you won’t ever have to see him again. I promise...” I was about to get down on my knees.

  “You promise? Nothing – and I mean nothing – could ever make me see him again. You don’t have anything to do with it. But okay. I guess I’ll go with you to the beach. I don’t know why, but I’ll go. You owe me big time; don’t forget it.” Olivia smiled sardonically and turned back to the sink. She continued talking – more to herself than to me. “No, I don’t know why. It’s not like you would ever hold it against me. In a month or two, you won’t even remember who Josh Boucher is...”

  I left the bathroom to check on Ray. I felt certain his episode was a case of overindulgence, but I had to make sure. He was coming out of the men’s room. He was wringing out his green shirt, and a puddle of water formed at his feet.

  Josh caught me by the arm. “Your car was fine. I guess everything went on Olivia and Ray. I’m sorry he’s acted like such a jerk tonight. I guess Olivia wants to go home?”

  “No, she’s being a good sport. She doesn’t much like Ray, but she loves me. She’s doing this for me.”

  Olivia tried to dry her blouse under the hand dryer in the bathroom, but it didn’t work very well. Still, she had to wear it. There was nothing else for her to put on. Remarkably, the stain came out, and the blouse appeared white again. But it was also totally transparent. I didn’t reveal this observation to Olivia. I knew she’d insist on going home. Or she’d make me give her my clean shirt. Best to keep quiet.

  Ray put his wet T-shirt on and apologized to Olivia. In a little while, we were all having a good laugh over the whole event. Even Olivia and Ray were talking and laughing together. With the ice between them finally broken, I wondered what the rest of the night would bring. Part of me worried that Ray had warmed up because he could see through Olivia’s top.

  When we reached the beach, Josh and I decided to take a walk. Olivia and Ray were perfectly happy to stay behind in the car. Josh and I sat on the beach and kissed. After a while, he tried to unbutton my jeans, but I grabbed his hand and said, “No. Not tonight.”

  “Why?” he asked.

  The real reason was that I wasn’t drunk or high enough, but I said, “It’s just not a good time.”

  I couldn’t tell if Josh was angry or hurt. He stood up and pulled me to my feet. “We’d better get back before they kill each other,” was all he said.

  Walking back to the car, Josh started joking around, and we had another good laugh about Olivia and Ray’s backseat pukefest. Between two tall sand dunes, we found the path leading back to my car. As we neared the street side of the dunes, Josh said, “Do you think I should warn them that we are coming back?”

  I laughed at that thought. “Maybe...but I doubt it.”

  We walked out into the open, and Josh started howling like a dog. The car loomed in the distance, and Josh howled until we were almost upon it. He glanced in through the back window, and then he quickly clamped his hands over my eyes. “You really don’t want to see this,” he said with a shudder.

  I heard Olivia giggle and Ray began laughing. It wasn’t hard to guess what they were doing.

  Josh and I leaned up against the back of the car until Olivia and Ray got dressed and ready to leave. Olivia’s cheeks were red, but she was happier than I had ever seen her. Her loss of innocence would be something she’d always remember. Although the idea of lying down with Ray revolted me, I envied Olivia that night.

  Olivia’s curfew was eleven o’clock, so I took her home first. I didn’t have to be home until twelve, and it was only ten forty-five. Josh said that he needed some munchies, so we decided to go to a Hardees restaurant before I took them home. I ate a hamburger and drank a soda. Josh and Ray each had a roast beef sandwich, large fries, and a soda. They were still hungry. Josh had another roast beef; Ray had a Big Twin hamburger, a cheeseburger, and another large fry. I’m sure they could have kept eating, but it was almost eleven thirty.

  I drove the guys back to Josh’s friend’s apartment in Foster’s Bank. My house was less than ten minutes away, so I still had plenty of time to make it home. Josh and I talked for a few minutes, and then he kissed me goodbye and told me he’d call me. Ray said he would see me later. I would see Ray again, but that was the end of Josh. I spoke to him on the phone one more time, but then he was just gone. Oddly enough, I wasn’t heartbroken. It was like Olivia had said. After a month or so, I forgot all about Josh Boucher – except for that night when he changed me forever. I might not remember the details, but I would never forget the consequences. Soon after Josh, I gave up my wild drinking sprees, and I never smoked pot again.

  Olivia continued to see Ray for at least a month after Josh disappeared from my life. Once, I went with her to visit him on the Lexington. He was different that night – maybe he was sober. He was amusing and even charming, to a certain extent. The “yeah, mans” were almost nonexistent that night, and I came to believe that he really liked Olivia. It surprised me when he stopped calling her, but she handled the situation well.

  Then it happened. Olivia came to school in a frenzy. It was May, and school would soon be over, but Olivia was wailing that she’d never make to be a senior. I finally convinced her to tell me what was wrong. “I’m dying. I think I have cancer or something. I haven’t had my period.”

  I a
lmost swallowed my tongue. “Olivia, you aren’t dying. I think you might be pregnant.”

  Now Olivia was even more frightened. “No...I’m dying. I am not pregnant. I’m dying, and don’t you forget it.”

  As it turned out, we were both wrong. Olivia had her period a few weeks later, and the doctor told her that she had an abnormal cycle. He put her on birth control pills to regulate her. A few months later, I visited the doctor myself. I didn’t plan to have sex anytime soon, but I had learned that sometimes it just happens.

  After Olivia’s scare, my mother began to think that she might be a bad influence on me, and she told me I couldn’t go out with her as much anymore. I couldn’t explain to my mother that I was the bad influence, not Olivia. I curtailed my activities with Olivia to please my mom. Now we went out only occasionally, but we were constantly on the phone together.

  I spent the summer traveling with my family. Rick, Rebecca, Birdie and Carl joined us. Luckily, they were traveling in a different car. My parents wanted to visit San Diego, California. When my dad first joined the Navy, he was stationed there. My mother’s father, also a Navy man, was stationed there as well, and my parents had met during that time. I think they were hoping to rekindle their marriage by returning to the place their love had first bloomed. I was to spend time with Rick and his family doing all kinds of fun things…like babysitting his kids so he and Rebecca could help their love bloom a little bit.

  I still had a lot of fun. While we were there we went to Disneyland and Tijuana, Mexico, but my favorite trip was to the San Diego Zoo. It wasn’t just the animals. This was the place my parents had met each other. I had long romanticized about meeting my future husband there, but, as it turned out, I didn’t meet a soul. Clearly the animals were friendlier than the boys in California.

  My dad became very sick, so we left San Diego. He improved on the trip back, and he wanted to continue with our original plans: following Rick and family back to their home in Orlando. While we were at their house, we visited Disney World and Sea World. Finally, we returned to Foster’s Bank a few weeks before school started.

  At this time, Olivia and I got a job working together at Mac’s, a local hamburger joint. At first, this brought us closer together, but later we started drifting apart. I began hanging out more with Laura and Donna.

  School started, and Olivia and I only had two classes to attend. I went to Human Development, the school’s clever name for Sex Education, for first period. Mrs. Cline was my teacher. Second period was English. Mrs. Keystone was teaching that class. Olivia had English first period and World History second period. We spent the rest of our day at work or at home.

  Midway into the first semester of our senior year, I decided that I was destroying a good friendship. One Saturday, I asked Olivia if she would like to go somewhere after work. She did. For some reason, my mother had hardened her stance against Olivia, and she refused to let me go out with her. I finally told her that I was going skating, and she allowed me to go. So far, my lies hadn’t caught up with me. I felt safe and confident that Mom would never learn the truth.

  Olivia and I wound up driving around an apartment complex called White Oaks. A few weeks before, I had met a guy named Scott who lived there, and I asked Olivia if I could go talk to him for a few minutes. Olivia said sure. Scott lived in the corner apartment on the first floor. I parked in front of his apartment, and Olivia and I both got out. Olivia leaned against the front of my car while I knocked on Scott’s door.

  My mother knew I had dated Scott a few times, although she had never met him. He was twenty-four years old, and I tried to keep this fact from my mother. He wasn’t exactly handsome, but he was an officer in the Navy. Scott had very short brown hair, hazel eyes, and a baby face. He was very polite and respectful, but I was only interested in him because he spent money on me. He would soon be another notch on my belt, but for now he was the man of the hour.

  Scott invited me into his apartment and Olivia told me to go ahead. I noticed that she was eyeing some guy that was standing in the doorway three doors down. I followed Scott inside and soon forgot about Olivia.

  Scott and I were sitting on his bed kissing. We would never go farther than that, but I did enjoy kissing him. All at once, I heard a car horn blowing. It was very loud, and I instantly knew it was blowing for me. I jumped off the bed and ran to the door. I threw the door open, and there was my mother in her car laying on the horn. She had caught me. If she saw Olivia, I would really be dead. But Olivia was not there.

  “Katrina Kipling, what are you doing here? You were supposed to be skating. Get your butt into that car and come straight home. I’ll wait for you at the main road. And you had better hope that Olivia McLain is not with you. Get moving!”

  She drove away, but I knew she’d be waiting. I nervously looked around for Olivia, but she was not in sight. The man in the doorway was also missing and the door was closed. I quickly told Scott goodbye and got into my car. I hated to leave Olivia, but I would die if my mother caught me with her. I left the apartments and followed my mother home. I had no idea how Olivia would get home, and I was too scared to care. Poor Olivia!

  The next day, I called Olivia. She refused to talk to me. On Monday, I apologized. She refused to talk to me. On Wednesday, she finally talked to me long enough to explain what happened. She’d gone into the man in the doorway’s apartment. His name was Jerry. They were just joking around at first, but he soon became too friendly. He pushed her onto his bed and kept telling her that he was horny. She managed to break away from him, but when she ran outside, my car wasn’t there. Scott wasn’t answering his door either, so she started walking home. An older man stopped and offered her a ride, and she accepted. Luckily for her, he was trustworthy. He dropped her safely at her front door.

  It would take a while, but Olivia would forgive me. We went through many ups and downs that year, but when we graduated, we were best friends. Even a jerk like me couldn’t kill a friendship like ours. Fortunately for me.

  Chapter 13

  Amazingly, Olivia and I had remained good friends over the years. There were periods when we didn’t talk for months at a time, but each of us knew that the other one was just a phone call away. I now admitted to myself that I hadn’t been as good a friend as Olivia had been, and I regretted that. She always forgave me my little indiscretions, but she always reminded me of how selfish and spoiled she thought I was. Sometimes, Olivia said things that I didn’t like – she was prone to speak her mind – but I could never remember a single time that I had truly been angry with her. I wished that she could say the same about me.

  I wasn’t expecting Olivia to call back anytime soon, so I went out for lunch. Fast food was out of the question, so I stopped in at Daley’s Pub, owned and operated by none other than Colleen Daley. I hadn’t been there in several years but I knew I wanted the shepherd’s pie. Colleen used the same recipe her father had perfected, and it was always as delicious as I remembered. Colleen brought me my meal. We hugged and then caught up for a few minutes, but the pub was busy and she had other diners to attend to. We promised each other that we’d talk soon as she hurried towards the kitchen.

  As I enjoyed my meal, I thought about another pub that I’d once loved frequenting: McGuire’s Irish Pub in Pensacola. I remembered the dollar bills that were pinned all over the walls – dollars signed and put there over the years by the customers. Somewhere amongst all the hundreds of bills was one with my name on it – mine and Ben’s. McGuire’s – in the original location – had been a favorite hangout of ours. We’d known all the waitresses by name and all the Irish ditties by heart. The place was so different now that I rarely ever stopped in any more. Colleen’s place was much more intimate and quiet and it didn’t bring back memories of Ben.

  After lunch, I went back home. I watched TV for a while before going online to check my e-mail. I surfed some chat rooms, but I didn’t really feel like socializing – even on the Internet. I ended up playing a game on my PlayStati
on. Before I knew it, it was seven o’clock. I fixed myself a ham sandwich and a bowl of chicken noodle soup. Right in the middle of my meal, the phone rang.

  “Hi, Kat. I found that guy, but he wouldn’t sell me any tickets. Sorry.” It was Olivia.

  “It’s okay, Olivia. I knew he wouldn’t sell. I don’t blame him. If I had those tickets, I wouldn’t sell them for a thousand dollars.”

  “I would,” Olivia said.

  “Okay, we know where you stand on Elton John. What are you doing tonight? Going out with Lee?”

  “I don’t know. I might stay home. I’m plenty tired. I’ve had a busy day.” And she’d done it all for me.

  “I’ll let you go then. I’m sort of tired myself.” Besides that, my soup was getting cold.

  After dinner, I took a long bath before heading to bed. I fell asleep right away and dreamed of Max and Elton John.

  Two weeks passed before I saw Max again. I was spending another Saturday alone in Hurricane Gardens. I was sitting on my favorite bench when he walked aimlessly by me. I followed him with my eyes to the end of the sidewalk. I thought he was going to sit on the bench down there, but he turned around and headed back towards me instead. I diverted my gaze so he wouldn’t know I was watching him. Abruptly, he stopped right beside me. My hands began feeling clammy and my heart began pounding.

  “May I sit down?” he asked in his deep voice.

  “Sure,” I answered. Thank God I wasn’t there eating lunch. I wouldn’t want to throw up on him.

  I searched for something to say, but he spoke first. “I’ve seen you here a lot. You must really like this place.”

  He’d actually noticed me – now and before. “It’s beautiful here,” was all I could say to him.

  “I guess I hadn’t noticed. I come here because it’s quiet. I come here to think.”

  I finally got the nerve to turn around and look Max in the eye. He looked so much older than the Max I remembered, and he looked troubled and tired. He stared back at me, and I saw a flicker of recognition in his eyes. I knew I should leave, but I couldn’t make myself get up.